Oftentimes, while plagued by thoughts regarding money, or calf crop, or resources to make the ranch what I envision it to be, I looked out the front window and enjoyed our view. “At least, we are living here in the country, and I look out my window and see grass and horses,” I would say. The thought comforted me. I learned last night that the oil company who owns the mineral rights on this land will be putting in a drilling rig right in that view. For about three months there will be thousands of vehicles coming and going. There will be no privacy, no peace. There will be noise and headache. If they find oil or gas, then there will be a permanent well, an eyesore serviced by whomever at the company’s will.
Our peaceful life in the country has now been stolen from us. That’s all we had, God. They drilled here 25 years ago and decide to come back within months after swe move here. How is that not God’s will? Why would God will such a thing? I am completely discouraged. Nothing has turned out like I had hoped. Furthermore, I can’t do anything about it. The thought even occurred to me that we should move back to Clear Lake, but what can I do there that will pay the mortgage?
Anna, bless her heart, pulled up some scriptures. The one that strikes home is to “trust in The Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will set your paths straight.” Ugh. My understanding is the first two paragraphs of this blog entry. It makes no sense. Yet, by faith, I acknowledge Him in this way. I do it here publicly for everyone to see. I acknowledge that my hopes, aspirations, and vision are subject to His. For whatever reason, God is the one who has brought the oil company back here at this time. God will make our paths straight. “Straight” means along with His will. My understanding is not good enough here. I have to rely on Him.
So, I will go about my business. I will substitute teach. I will put out hay. I will fix fence. God has put me in a place where I have absolutely no control over my circumstances. There is no illusion of control. Were I an accountant, or an engineer, I would have long fooled myself into thinking that I could save enough money to do what I want; that the bills that I pay are because of my hard work. Not here, not now. I am completely in God’s hands. I can work as hard as I want to and it won’t make the oil company go away, it won’t make the house sell, it won’t make the cows have calves. I will work because that is my part, but it won’t make a difference. God has us right where He wants us. All we can or even should do is obey what He has told us to do today.
Pray for us, when you think of it. Thank you.